We
might not all walk the red carpet but we all struggle to find a way to
feel we matter as we get older. "I'm not a brand. I'm a human being,"
you said in a tweet not long before you died. The problem was you were a
brand, actually. - quote
Deborah Hill Cone: It wasn't just depression that claimed Charlotte - Entertainment - NZ Herald News
www.nzherald.co.nz
Charlotte
Dawson was about the same age as I am. Today, I'm alive and she is
dead. I didn't know you when you were alive, Charlotte,...
- Kerry Tankard, Anna Dean, Ariane Craig-Smith and 5 others like this.
- Raylene Christina Beals Egocentric blog page...making judgments are you sure you want to perpetuate this?
- Raylene Christina Beals No troll here. In fact I have held myself back to responding to anything until your post (and that's not in a bad way, feel good you got me to write what I feel) and my responses are not meant to bait only to incite some thought ...as I guess Mrs Hill Cone was also. But it didn't read well in my circles today.
- Raylene Christina Beals no (their was some distaste)..I like her writing and her bent on things (generally) I have been following her a number of years, but it was the whole comparison to being a middle aged has been that got my heckles up. And as a survivor myself, I do get precious and have to remind myself not to get judgmental...
- Little Black Pig · Friends with Oona Verse and 25 others
Forgive me for chiming-in, Raylene, but the blog reads like further bullying, to me, too: it is a very condescending conceit to address the blog to the deceased, and to act as if she actually 'made all those excuses' is accusatory. What position does the blogger claim to throw stones like that? Sometimes we're not 'making excuses', but 'citing reasons and causes'. - Little Black Pig · Friends with Oona Verse and 25 others
OK: here's both barrels for Hill Cone: it's a cheap shot being used to show off a mediocre writing talent at the expense of the recently deceased and her whanau. - Little Black Pig · Friends with Oona Verse and 25 others
(I'm gonna get told off) ... granted, a point is made, but depression seldom exists without cause. - Raylene Christina Beals Your right little black pig (consider yourself told off!) Ps if I wanted to share all my tale I wouldn't anyway... I have too many of my angels hanging over me, and I keep them well at bay...
- Rob Mayes depression often exists without cause. chemical imbalance. absolutely not real world circumstance reason for it, it just happens and you may be in a great time of your life with everything going well, but if the chemical imbalance strikes,
- Rob Ueberfeldt There seems to be a lot of examination within those judgements. It is a very personal article and could be viewed as being harsh, everyone taker suicide in different ways. Deborah tries to give some good answers and solutions which I think is commendable.
- Raylene Christina Beals Yes! exactly who? who should we care about when formulating our own souls, our own cares and wiles of the world. Who should we be answerable too? that spark inside.. of course you silly thing.
- Natalie Ellen-Eliza "It wasn't just depression that claimed you" - an apt and poignant statement - strength is only so strong - one part amongst many others that makes the whole. Please more with the compassion and less with the suicide and selfish.
- Grhys Man social media is an extension of high school in many ways,you have to be very resilient to get through the haters,and so many folk rattle off opinion on stuff ya just have to relegate it to online banter and laugh because its not real,and should you meet them as she did,quickly do you realize you have stepped over a line,bullying is not ok but neither are victims that continue without getting help,it takes two to tango and life is a precious gift not to be wasted.
- Raylene Christina Beals I take it all back it was a bitchy article and I responded to this thread in the first instance because as a suicide survivor and potential depressive and it fucked me off. If you want to slate me for that so be it.
- Debbie Martin That article was heinous, compassionless and cruel. DCH obviously has no understanding of depression or CDs life and as such shouldn't go there.
- Wells Tao I think it's an incredible and heart filled piece of writing, one whose difficult and brutal messages could be considered a wake up for many, including myself to consider the pressure on woman and all of us generally by our system of value production. I wouldn't shoot the messenger.
- Debbie Martin Whatever. As an actual woman, that was a prime example of one woman putting pressure on another woman who was already so broken she had killed herself. DCH's only message to me was that she is a cruel bitch with no sense of sisterhood at all. Happy to shoot that shit.
- Raylene Christina Beals let the suicide victims be free of our judgements because they have sorrowfully passed the worst and ultimate judgement upon themselves. Anything beyond that is just a mutilation. - See more at: http://thedailyblog.co.nz/.../a-brief-word-on-deborah.../...
- Wells Tao I though the writer was clearly coming from her own perspective and experience with the issues and the fact that she has done so, so personally seems to be her crime. A kind of macho reserved only for men, and only for issues deemed appropriate by Men, the good priests presiding over taste and morality and the expense of an honest heart filled awkward communication. I suggest that if you have to lie, cover up the truth and all it’s splendid colors to have your “dignity in death” you (us) may be more of the problem than appreciated.
- Raylene Christina Beals Its not a crime, and she writes very well, but if your going to hang your experience on the hat of someone recently deceased from something as completely avoidable as suicide then people will react…. its great that she has allowed you an insight into how woman do tend to suffer more from invisibility as we become older (meanwhile men tend to get rock star status etched in their craggy jowls) but I think she is naive to imply this is what killed Charlotte. As a woman with a wild past fast approaching 40 I laugh at the teenagers who stare right through me with glazed eyes. Born to a macho man, and raised by a single mum I live my truth and will die with dignity when this world decides it is my time x
- Wells Tao "but I think she is naive to imply this is what killed Charotte" it's a challenge to argue with you when the very title of the piece of writing in question contradicts such a point. But thank you I have appreciated your discussion. Live on!
- Wells Tao I guess there are just a few people like myself who view capitalism as a major factor in the creation and maintenance of depression. And that celebrities be it All Blacks or Super Models are at best poor spokespersons for this, precisely because of how they represent such a narrow definition of what it is to be ‘successful” in the first place. i understand that Deborah Hill article is upsetting, I just don’t feel you are up set about what is upsetting. Capitalism sucks.
- Wells Tao 681 Likes for: "Oh Deborah this is nasty. Even in her death you can't control the bully in you. This article says a lot more about you than I think you realise". It depends on whether or not you think the writer IS writing about her self or not. I think it is clear that she is. She certainly refers to "we" enough...
- Rob Ueberfeldt I would be happy to let CD rest in piece however her internet control ideas live on (unfortunately) and this needs addressing. http://www.stuff.co.nz/.../Friends-launch-Charlottes-Law... if only we could bury Charlottes Law along with Charlotte.
- Wells Tao yeah I was sent this to sign, interesting how the masses rise up with good intention, only to be so long with out a practicing moral or ethical fiber left in their body (thanks free market!) immediately puts that good intent into strengthening the kind of power that is already dominates. Like watching a car crash on a road full of little white crosses.
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